(lark is standing in front of all the ff characters who are standing on some risers and pushing and shoving each other like elementary school students. lark's flipping through some music and is kind of not paying attention...)

Elena: *whines* "Ow! Reno! Stop it!"

Reno: *snickers*

Elena: "Lark!! Reno keeps pinching me!!"

Tifa: "Lark, Cloud's not getting drunk fast enough!"

Cloud: "Eep!" *falls off the risers*

Irvine: "That's my music, Zell."

Zell: "No it's not."

Irvine: "Yes it is! It has my name on it!"

Zell: "These pornographic drawings are not your name."

Irvine: *pause* "They pretty much are!"

Zell: "Are not."

Irvine: "Lark! Zell stole my music!"

Zidane: "Tseng, you're in my spot."

Tseng: "I want to stand next to Reeve. You can stand in my spot."

Zidane: "I don't wanna stand next to Rusty!"

Steiner: "Well pardon me, but I don't particuarly want to stand next to you either."

Zidane: "Lark! Tseng won't move!"

Rufus: *pouting* "I don't like singing."

Sephiroth: "Well I don't like your complaining."

Rufus: "Deal with it!"

Sephiroth: "How about I just kill you?"

Rufus: "Lark! Sephiroth's threatening to kill me again!"

Sephiroth: "Lark! Rufus is whining again!"

Seifer: *hits squall over the head with his folder* "Ha ha, Squall!"

Squall: "Stop it, Seifer."

Seifer: *hits rinoa over the head* "Ha ha, Rinoa!"

Rinoa: "Knock it off, jerk!"

Seifer: *hits zell over the head* "Ha ha, chicken-wuss!"

Zell: *flips out* "Quit it, Seifer!"

Seifer: *hits irvine over the head* "Ha ha, Cowboy geek!"

Irvine: "Seifer, I'm trying to argue with Zell. Leave me alone."

Zell: "This is *my* music!"

Irvine: "Is *not*! LARK!"

Seifer: *hits selphie over the head* "Ha ha, Selphie!"

Selphie: *rubs her head* "Ow!! Seifer!" *pouts* "Lark! Seifer's being a meany!!"

Elena: "Stop it, Reno, or I'll beat your brains in!"

Reno: *snickers*

Elena: "Rude, make him stop."

Rude: "................"

Elena: "You're useless, Rude. LARK!"

Barret: "Yo, cat/dog/emu, where's yo' leash."

Red: "I am ignoring you."

Cid: "#$%@#^^&%&#$%@#$%#&%%^&#@#^#^!!"

Red: "I am ignoring you as well."

Barret: "Yo, emu/cat/dog's can't sing!"

Cid: "$%#$^%&%^&$#^@%$#%#$&%$&%!"

Barret: "Damn straight, Cid!"

Yuffie: "Hey, where's my music?"

Quistis: *shoving tons of music into her folder* "I don't know."

Yuffie: "LARK! My music's gone!!"

Laguna: "Hey hey! This'll be fun!"

Ward: "............"

Kiros: "Ward can't sing!"

Laguna: "That's not cool, man."

Kiros: "He really can't."

Laguna: "You can do anything if you try hard!"

Kiros: "No, he really can't sing, you moron. He has no voice."

Laguna: "He can if he believes in himself!"

Kiros: "Lark! Laguna's an idiot!!"

Tifa: "Come on, Cloud, stand on the risers and drink your vodka."

Cloud: "Whoa!" *falls off the risers again*

Tifa: *hits herself in the forehead* "Oh boy."

Zidane: *shoves tseng* "Move!"

Tseng: "No!" *turns to reeve* "Reeve, wouldn't you rather stand next to me?"

Reeve: *blushes* "Uh...um...Oh, I don't know..."

Steiner: "Can't you just reach an agreement?"

Zidane and Tseng: "NO!" *pause* "LARK!"

Vincent: *standing calmly by himself* "Hmn." *blinks*

Sephiroth: *shoves rufus* "Shut up!"

Rufus: *shoves back* "You shut up!"

Sephiroth: "I said it first!"

Rufus: "I said it last!"

Sephiroth and Rufus: *glaring at each other* "LARK!"

Seifer: *hits squall over the head* "Ha ha, Squall."

Squall: "Stop it."

Seifer: *hits him again* "Ha ha, Squall."

Squall: "Stop it."

Seifer: *hits him again* "Ha ha, Squall!"

Squall: *grabs seifer's arm and twists it behind his back* "Ha ha, Seifer."

Seifer: *whining* "Ow! Stop it, Squall! Lark!"

(lark finally looks up and she's overwhelmed as everyone is yelling at her to fix their problem)

Lark: "Okay, everyone SHUT UP!!!!!!!!"

FF Characters: *blink*

Lark: "Now. Reno, leave Elena alone. Tifa, hold Cloud on the riser and pour the liquor down his throat. Zell, give Irvine his music. Yours is in your back pocket."

Zell: *turns to look at his back* "Oh hey! It is!"

Lark: "Steiner, you go stand where Reeve is, and the rest of you guys shift down so Tseng can stand next to Reeve and Zidane doesn't have to stand next to Steiner. Sephiroth and Rufus--both of you shut the hell up right now or I'll give you solos."

Rufus and Sephiroth: *sweat drops* "Yes, ma'am."

Lark: "Squall, let Seifer go, and if that folder hits anyone again, you'll be singing soprano, Seifer--permenantly."

Seifer: *gulp*

Lark: "Barret, you and Cid leave Red alone. Quistis, give Yuffie her music back. Kiros, deal with it. And Vincent... Vincent..." *blink* "You're fine." *sigh* "Are we ready to sing now?"

FF Characters: "Yes, Lark."

(knock at the door)

Lark: "Who could that be?"

(she answers it and hojo, scarlet, heidegger, nida and kuja come in)

Heidegger: "Gya haa haa! Merry Christmas!"

Nida: "Happy Hanakah!"

Kuja: "And a Happy New Year!"

Hojo: "Scarlet and I baked cookies."

Scarlet: "We thought we should share some of them with you."

Lark: *backs away looking really scared* "Uh-huh..."

Sephiroth: "Want me to kill them, Lark?"

Hojo: "Son! Merry Christmas! Give your father a hug!!"

Sephiroth: "ACK!!!!!" *hides behind vincent*

Scarlet: *winks at rufus* "Merry Christmas, Mr. President."

Rufus: *edging away* "Yeah..."

Nida: "Happy Hanakah, Squall! Wanna light the Menorah with me?"

Squall: "Not unless I can light you on fire too."

Heidegger: "Gya haa haa! Turks! Let's go make a snowman!"

Reno: *mumbles* "Tseng, he's talking to us."

Tseng: *mumbles* "Just pretend you're deaf."

Kuja: "I love you, Zidane."

Zidane: *shudders* "Then leave me alone!!"

(mayhem erupts as the mean people try to be nice and the 'nice' people try to run away from them)

Lark: *shakes head* "Oh well... Guess we won't be singing afterall. Enjoy your gift everyone!"

The Christmas Carols
We wish you a merry garden festival! *pause* Wait...that doesn't fit...

A Very Shinra Christmas
A parody of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas', Shinra style

Christmas Cheer
Your Christmas ramble

Favorite FF Moments
The favorite moments of FF fans, the FF characters, and even Lark